Throughout my career, I have struggled with chronic anxiety. My anxiety disorder (and my identity as a bi-woman in science) has sometimes made it hard for me to see where I fit in science. As a graduate student, this combination was sometimes overwhelming. Recent research suggests that nearly half of graduate students struggle with anxiety and/or depression and that students with non-majoritarian identities are almost 3 times more likely to struggle with mental health issues than their majoritarian counterparts making declining mental health one of the largest barriers to equity in the scientific community. Our system of doing science often does not provide the necessary support for students who struggled like me. Part of my personal mission is trying to make academia a healthier place for people with non-majoritarian identities to work. One of the issues that I experience and a lot of people I know experienced is difficulty-setting boundaries around their time and priorities.
A lot of my anxiety is centered around not being “good enough” this little anxiety voice pushes me to say yes to things even when I don’t have the capacity because I can only see my value in a group as service to others. When I say yes to things that I don’t have the capacity for or that don’t align with what I need in my life or career right now - I also get anxious. So then I’m double anxious - anxious about not being good enough at the task that I have to do and anxious about being overextended. For me - one of the major symptoms of my anxiety is procrastination. So then - I get so anxious about not having done what I need to do that I procrastinate even more and it becomes really hard for me to step outside of this cycle of psychological self-harm. In order to prevent this from happening - I need a lot of structure in how I set and follow through on goals and decide on boundaries around my work.
On this page - I try to keep a running document of the different strategies that I use to combat this little voice and prevent myself from falling into anxiety-driven procrastination.
My current structure:
I use a modified objectives and key results system (OKR’s) to set and reset my goals monthly.
I make “mind maps” of my OKR’s in Mind Meister. Keeping my OKR’s in a mind map helps to keep me grounded in the bigger picture. It’s really easy to get zoomed into the tasks that I am currently working on. Having a mind map of my OKR’s reminds me that the things I am doing on a daily basis are connected to my bigger goals.
I keep separate “scientific” and “personal” OKR’s. The scientific ones help me focus on the questions that I am most excited about answering. The personal ones help me manage my broader career (like being eligible for a permanent position), mental health, and physical health goals.
I struggle with saying “no” to new projects because I am always worried about the opportunity cost of saying no. I am currently trying to train myself to take a moment to think about my OKR’s before I say yes to a new project. Lots of projects could help me to “submit 12 co-author publications” by 2022 but not every project is well aligned with the scientific questions that I find most fulfilling. I am trying to learn to say “no” to the projects that don’t hit both sets.
I reassess my OKR’s monthly. This helps me focus on what matters for three reasons:
Rethinking my OKR’s automatically zooms me back out to the bigger picture. It helps me to place all of the things I’ve done in a month into the context of my broader goals.
Sometimes my goals are way too ambitious OR not ambitious enough. Reassessing them monthly helps me to achieve the right amount of stretch! In 2019, one of my objectives was to increase my H-index to 10 by 2022. But I had no idea how hard this would be and my H-index now in 2021 is already 12! (A TRIUMPH for me since I started this page). So now I’ve changed this objective to focus on the types of papers that I want to say yes to and how involved in them I want to be.
Priorities change and that’s ok. Something that’s really important to me now, may not be so important in 7 months because the context may be totally different. The objectives work for me, not the other way around. For example, when I started this page - I was really focused on getting a tenure-track position. Now that I have one (!!!!!!), I’m focusing more on developing my skills as a mentor, a grant writer, an educator, and a collaborator.
Sometimes I struggle to adapt the OKR system to my 1 person academic company (me). Mine definitely don’t meet all of Google’s requirements but the system helps me make decisions and keep focused on the bigger picture.
An example of my personal OKR’s at work in MindMeister.
I do all of my project management in Microsoft Planner. I use a modified KANBAN system to organize my different projects/publications. I have my projects in three priority levels - 1. Is 80-100% aligned with the questions I am most excited about asking and roles that I find most fulfilling. 2. Is 60 - 80% aligned with the questions I am most excited about asking and will be submittable to a good journal upon completion. 3. Is 0-60% aligned with the questions I am most excited about asking.
When choosing between tasks, columns further to the right always take precedence. For example - if given the choice between tasks for two priority one projects and one is post external review while the other is post internal review - the post external review project takes priority. This keeps me focused on moving things into the completed category and keeps my anxiety driven procrastination at bay. Going through tough reviewer comments tends to make me really anxious so I often procrastinate on this.
When choosing between tasks that are at the same stage in the process (for example, both are post internal review), priority one always takes priority over two or three.
My board has categories for:
Backlog - the projects that are waiting in the wings for me to start working on them.
In progress - the projects that I am currently working on.
Internal review - the projects that are currently with my co-authors for comment
Post internal review - feeds back into “in progress”
External review - the projects that are currently in review at a journal
Post external review - projects that have already been reviewed and either need to be revised again (fed back into in progress) or are in press.
Completed
My next step is to expand this to include my masters and, hopefully soon, PhD students to help us structure our work together.
Example of my monthly task assessment.
I use a bullet journal to manage tasks.
Every month I sit down with my objectives and key results and my KANBAN board and think about what I accomplished. I assess what I did and how it aligned with my goals for the month. I give myself a grade based on task completion. I try to aim for around 70%.
Then I do my planning for the next month. I separate these tasks into four categories: high priority + time sensitive, high priority + not time sensitive, low priority + time sensitive, low priority + not time-sensitive. Each week I draw from my monthly task list starting with the highest priority time-sensitive task and working through the categories. I recently added a column to my monthly layout that indicates which of my OKR’s a specific task aligns with. Just another way to help me focus on the bigger picture.
Every day, week, and month, I select a “highlight”. I got this idea from the book “Make time”. My highlight is the task that if I complete it - will make me feel like I’ve accomplished something during that period of time. Usually, this is the task that is most aligned with my goals. As long as I’ve gotten my highlight done during a period of time and I’ve gotten about 70% of the rest of my list accomplished. I consider that a win. Aiming to cross out 100% of what was on my list made me focus on simple tasks that I could just cross out immediately like “take a shower” or “eat dinner”. Now I try to stretch more - aim bigger and be ok if I come up a little short.
As of 2020 - I went totally digital with my bullet journal but the structure has stayed the same, I just do it on my iPad in Notability.
My monthly layout.
I keep a “Good things log”. Sometimes I get too focused on all of the rejections, the lack of positive feedback, and the constant criticism that is a reality of life in academia. I used to keep this in my notebook but now I keep it as a folder in my email - because almost all of my bad news comes in via email and this way my good things are immediately accessible!
CURRENTLY READING:
Set boundaries, find peace - by Nedra Glover Tawwab
PAST READING
How we work: Live your purpose, reclaim your sanity, and embrace the daily grind - by Leah Weiss
Make time: How to focus on what matters every day - by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky
Smarter, faster, better: The transformative power of real productivity - by Charles Duhigg